Surely, you have people you enjoy spending time with and… people you would rather never see again. Well, as it turns out, it goes both ways. In other words, some people love being around you (be it a friend, family member, or partner), while some can’t stand the very sight of you. But why? Why do some people dislike us, even when others may find joy in our company? What if there’s something specific about the way you look or the way you act that makes people hate your guts? Here are 6 acts/traits that make others dislike us.
DO NOT INTERRUPT ME
Whether it’s during a casual get-together with friends or during a business meeting, we all hate getting interrupted. This is why it’s so crucial to pay attention to whether you ever interrupt your interlocutors. Now, if it’s just a one-off, they can and will forgive you. Once it becomes more habitual though, people might start viewing you as arrogant, and they might start distancing themselves from you. You don’t want that!
Not interrupting others is just one part of being a good listener. For more tips on the matter, check out our article on how to become a good listener.
TONE IT DOWN
The way we sound to ourselves is different from the way we sound to others. I mean, haven’t you ever been baffled when listening to your voice on some kind of recording? Well, the same applies to the volume of our voice. We might, for instance, believe that we’re speaking in barely audible whispers, while in reality, we are actively popping other people’s eardrums. Well, I might be exaggerating just a tiny bit, but you get what I’m saying.
If loudness is a trait you happen to possess, you’re down on your luck. Unfortunately, there are few things quite as annoying as a loudmouth. Now, you can’t be too quiet either! Not being able to hear someone can also be a bit frustrating. In other words, you have to find the ever-so-evasive golden middle. Loud enough to be heard but not so loud as to cause headaches.
UNKEMPT AND DISHEVELED- YOU NEED A MAKEOVER
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” – wise words, except they’re hardly applicable in real life. Whether you like it or not, people will judge you, often times based on superficial factors (our clothes, our figure, our posture, our haircut, and our personal hygiene). Now, it’s not all about our looks, but our outward appearance plays a crucial role in how others perceive us.
Now, (unless we’re talking about a romantic pursuit) your relative attractiveness shouldn’t define whether someone likes or whether an employer deems you unfit to work the job. What does matter though is how well you take care of yourself. In other words, whether you are unkempt or not. Dirty clothes and poor personal hygiene will make it really difficult for others to approach you, much less become friends with you! So, if you’re invested in becoming approachable enough to attract others to listen to you, to land your dream job and function in society, then maybe make sure you take care of yourself! For starters, buy a pair of elegant pants and get a neat beard trim.
People love talking about themselves. Whether it’s about problems, achievements, or even the most mundane of activities, we all like to share our lives with others (to varying degrees, of course). Now, in moderation, it’s not an issue in the slightest. However, oversharing can be and usually is annoying as heck. I mean, don’t you have that one friend who posts hundreds of photos of their kids every day on Facebook? Or someone who simply has to provide a meticulous explanation of every single minute of their life through via Instagram stories? Sure, they might not be harming anybody per se, but they do come off as arrogant, selfish, and infinitely self-centered.
If you don’t want others to dismiss you from the get-go, make sure you don’t overshare. It’s a real put-off!
SECRETS ARE BEST KEPT SECRET
Trust is one of the most important elements in any interpersonal relationship. We could go as far as to say that a healthy relationship requires a good deal of trust as a prerequisite. It makes sense, then, that we tend to, well, dislike people we do not or cannot trust.
And how do you build trust? Well, certainly not by spilling everybody’s secrets! Indeed, the inability to keep other people’s secrets is one of the most disliked personality traits. When someone tells you something that they’ve kept hidden from quite literally the whole world, they’re showing you immense trust, one that is hard to come by these days. At that moment, they are relying on you as a loyal friend, a supporting partner, or a loving family member. Unless you want people to stay as far away from you as possible, don’t ever spill the beans… so to speak.
BEING LATE ALL THE TIME
Better late than never.. not. As it turns out, arriving late is universally disliked. Why? If you’re late, you’re effectively showing a lack of basic respect toward the person you arranged to meet with. More specifically, you’re showing that you do not respect their time, and as we all know, time is everything nowadays.
Now, if you’re a frequent latecomer, there’s one silver lining. Loooots of people are late all the time, so it’s more likely others will be more understanding and will let you off the hook for your transgression.