Effortless charm is a mysterious beast. For those exceptional people, it is an air they breathe, an energy they convey with even the lightest of body movements. They naturally draw huge crowds, attract romantic partners, or make everyone around them laugh.. All while the rest of the human species watch in awe, as if trying to solve this elusive riddle- and in the process acquire the dark arts of charm and the laws of attraction. So why are some people charming while others are not? Is it a skill that anybody can acquire?
When we meet someone new, their face is probably (hopefully!) the first thing we look at. And, when it comes to faces, a cheerful smile is infinitely more appealing than a sullen grimace. This brings us to the first sign of charm- a good-old smile.
But wait, we all know how to smile, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, not all smiles are created equal. To be truly charming, you need a truly charming smile. If you don’t have one though, worry not. You can learn to improve your facial faculties with proper practice. For example, you can observe expert “smilers” in action and try to copy their ways.
Of course, it’s going to be awkward at first. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. But if you stick to it, your smiles will go from awkward and artificial to charming and natural in no time flat. Indeed, people judge one another from the first point of contact, and an attractive smile can be key to a promising friendship, business partnership, romantic endeavor, job offer..
ARE YOU FUNNY? HAH, HUH?
People love to laugh, and not just while watching Dave Chappelle’s comedy shows. That’s right, jokes are a vital part of many human interactions, whether they be between family, friends, or romantic partners. Proficient jokesters and their irresistible charm attract people from all walks of life. Whether they like it or not, those who make others laugh always become the center of attention.
While some of us are born funny, most have to find a way to learn this precious skill. If you feel like your jokes don’t always land, or that the laughs you get aren’t as sincere as you would like them to be, you should consider learning how to be a more proficient jokester. But how do you go about doing this? Well, you can start by observing comedians. Pay attention to both what they say and how they say it. Remember, the timing of the joke is just as important (if not more important!) than the content of the joke. Body language, rhythm, and tone are other things you should keep an eye out for. Then, try to copy their mannerisms and see what sticks.
Just make sure you don’t go overboard. You don’t have to make everyone around you laugh 24/7. After all, your life is not a sitcom! Let all that stiffness go away, look straight at the person beside you, and say “hi”!
MAKE EYE CONTACT
Eye contact can be… awkward. Unfortunately, if you want to “attract” others to remember your name- or let alone listen to you- you’ll need to maintain eye contact. Studies show that maintaining eye contact has a great effect on social interactions, especially on those with a romantic tint. Not averting your gaze whenever someone looks in your general direction will make you seem more confident, more relaxed, and, of course, more charming.
Don’t underestimate the power of the human gaze. Phones aside, maintain eye contact and connect with people.
IMPROVE YOUR LOOKS
That’s right attractiveness is a vital element of one’s charm. If you want to enchant others, you have to look good. Alas, that’s easier said than done. There are some things about your appearance that you simply can’t change: your height, your facial features, your natural hair color, your build, etc. Still, there are other factors you can influence. If you don’t feel like you’re a 10/10, try getting a new haircut, changing your style, or working out. There are infinite noninvasive ways of altering the way you look, so why not try them out?
Remember, no matter what the gene gods bestowed upon you, there’s always a way to make it work. All you have to do is find the right combination to make your natural charm come out! After all, beauty is within.
SHOW THAT YOU CARE
We are a very responsive species. If someone’s nice to us, we tend to return that niceness. On the other hand, if someone keeps being rude to us, we might respond with anger or frustration. What does this have to do with becoming more charming? Well, if you show that you’re interested in what the other person has to say, that same person is more likely to do the same for you.
Believe me, there’s nothing more charming than talking to someone and bringing up a small detail they told you about the other day. It shows that you care and that you pay attention to the other person. Without this reciprocal “you scratch my back I scratch yours,” you’ll never become prince charming (or princess charming!).
MIND YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
More than 70% of interpersonal communication is nonverbal, or so they say. This means that the better part of your personal charm resides not in what you say but rather in what your body says. If you get the feeling that you’re not as charming as you’d like to be, it might be time to start paying attention to what your body parts are up to as you talk to someone. If your gestures are reserved or awkward, it might put them off. To achieve that next level of charm, you should be as open to others as possible, and this applies to your body language too.
Try leaning towards your interlocutor instead of away from them. Avoid crossing your arms, slouching, or fidgeting. Make sure you don’t appear anxious or uncomfortable when around other people. Of course, this isn’t as easy as it sounds, and you really shouldn’t be attempting to “hack” the whole body language thing. But definitely be aware that some types of body language are a huge turn off for others.
Charm is not exactly the realm of the acquired. While keeping some tips in mind, it is far more helpful to learn to be more comfortable with yourself, to socialize, to maintain a positive lifestyle.. Inevitably, you’ll attract the type of crowd that appreciates who you are and values being around you.